I find that my reaction to being unmotivated is more paralyzing than the lack of motivation itself.

My internal voices are all too ready to yell at me for it. (What is WRONG with you??? Everyone ELSE gets up, gets showered and dressed, and goes to a job every day! WHAT is your problem???)

To protect myself from spiraling downward, I usually dive into a search for an inspiring external solution–that is, a different life that is a better fit for me.

I really can’t even fool myself that the answer is out there in a new job, business for sale, real estate listing, course of study, etc. I sometimes get temporary relief from the anxiety through the search and sometimes I stumble on something of help (like your blog), but mostly the Utopian search is unproductive, and probably keeps me from finding better responses.

What I’m trying to move toward is to replace the internal screaming (“I’m not fit for life and life is not fit for me”) with understanding and loving words: “I understand–you’re feeling unmotivated, lost, and aimless today (or scared/overwhelmed–whatever). Really–that is okay. Just do a little something if you feel like it. Here now, I’ll set the timer and you can just do something–anything–for 15 minutes.”

When I am able to respond to my loss of motivation in that loving way, I get some immediate relief from the anxiety and am usually more productive than when I’m flipping out. And somehow what seemed absolutely unbearable just isn’t that big a deal. So I’m lost today–so what?!

Work in progress.

I am a very very very strong P… it sucks I keep torturing myself

And I end up doing NOTHING at all.

I could get an incredible amount of things but instead I literally waste days… weeks…. months…. trying to figure out the best way to do things.

Like right now, I have to pack up because we’re moving…. and I just have no frikking idea of what to pack together and what to pack first, how to optimize space, reduce the number of boxes, what to pack together because it will go together in my new place…
I am getting nothing done because I have no idea how… so I am not motivated as I feel that I will waste a truckload amount of energy since things won’t be optimized…

Someone kill me.

As INFPs, we make a lot of plans and forget to live.

I came across your blog after taking a MBTI test, and just wanted to say that I love your thoughtful posts. Please keep writing! it’s such a comfort to hear about someone else’s experiences with the same tendencies.

-Diana

This is my third attempt at writing a comment. (I usually give up after two.) When I am putting something out there in the world it comes from me. I put myself into everything that I do. I know that I’m not perfect, but I want what I produce to be as close to perfect as I am capable of making it. I identified with you when you said:

” The assumption is that perfect conditions exist in some permanent state. What was perfect timing that I missed yesterday might not be good now. Waiting for optimal conditions to cycle around again is just my fear of failing.”

I frequently think, “Damn, I should have gotten that done yesterday. That was the perfect time to do it.” and then a week goes by before I even attempt to do anything on that project. I also feel that it is a failure defense. It’s as though, “Well, I didn’t really work too much on that… so it’s fine that it didn’t get finished. My heart was never really involved in that anyway.”

Okay, I’ve dove pretty far in now and I’m going to ‘submit comment’ and hope that I don’t sound like a complete idiot.

s’more please.