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Happiness

Apr

01

2009

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12

Internal ideals vs external actions

So why is it that happiness seems more elusive for INFPs than the other MBTI types?

I don’t think I’ve met anyone who doesn’t want to be happy. For INFPs, we are happiest when we are being ourselves. Our difficulty with happiness arises because we define ourselves by Ideal Self not by our Emerging Self. I prefer the term Emerging Self over Actual Self because the word “emerging” has connotations of movement, of becoming more.

INFPs are in a perpetual state of Becoming. We see ourselves as the butterfly even though we may still be in the chrysalis.

...Continue Reading
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I'm an INFP. I'm pretty good at it. This is my only qualification for writing an INFP blog.

Thank goodness for the low barriers to self-publication.

As a dayjob, I work in web development because no one will pay me to be professional dilettante. By night, I use my superpowers to wage unending war against writer's block and procrastination.

Ockham Design

My unfinished design portfolio site. I will eventually finish it if I need to find another job.

This is what I'm currently doing to grow:

  • Mating In Captivity by Ester Perel

    Relationship book about how desire and intimacy require opposite conditions and whether it's possible to maintain hot sex over long-term relationships.

...Read More

The Five Love Languages

I've been married 15 years and I consider this book instrumental in helping my wife and I build and maintain our relationship.

The book explains that there are five love languages and that each one of us has a language that makes us feel loved. The problem is that we assume that the language that makes us feel loved is the same language that others feel loved.

For example, a husband with Acts of Service as his primary love language would fix things around house to show his wife he loved her. However, if the wife’s primary love language is Receiving Gifts, she’s wondering why he’s working on the house all time when all she wants from him is a little note or a flower or some small token that shows he loves her. She gives him little notes and he’s wondering she doesn’t appreciate all the work he does.

The Five Love Languages says that people feel loved in their language and not ours.

...Read how I've applied this book to my life

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