Comments on: INFPs need alone time http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/ Thoughts on the INFP Personality Type from an INFP Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:34:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Vexing http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-1713 Vexing Fri, 14 May 2010 23:00:14 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-1713 I read this a few weeks ago, and I just read it again. I think I'm getting a better understanding of when and why my girlfriend decides to recharge. As a result, I've been gradually changing my behavior. I try not to "intrude" on her as much as I used to. For example, sometimes for some reason, she'd end up staring off into space or leaving the group she was in for no explanation, and I'd rile her up unwittingly by following her or making a call or a text. What ended up happening is that my call wouldn't get picked up or I'd just get a single word text message back. Now, I'm more likely to go "Hmm...I think I'll hang out with S. for the next few hours." I still have a ways to go, however. It's not like I always know when she's going to do that, and so I inadvertently mess up. But that's okay. It helps me learn. It helps her learn too, because having me in her life means that she's getting a different understanding about how her behavior affects those around her. Now, knowing this and believing in it are different from how I feel about it. I still feel bad when I make a mistake, though I'm trying to get over that. I read this a few weeks ago, and I just read it again. I think I’m getting a better understanding of when and why my girlfriend decides to recharge. As a result, I’ve been gradually changing my behavior. I try not to “intrude” on her as much as I used to. For example, sometimes for some reason, she’d end up staring off into space or leaving the group she was in for no explanation, and I’d rile her up unwittingly by following her or making a call or a text. What ended up happening is that my call wouldn’t get picked up or I’d just get a single word text message back.

Now, I’m more likely to go “Hmm…I think I’ll hang out with S. for the next few hours.” I still have a ways to go, however. It’s not like I always know when she’s going to do that, and so I inadvertently mess up.

But that’s okay. It helps me learn. It helps her learn too, because having me in her life means that she’s getting a different understanding about how her behavior affects those around her. Now, knowing this and believing in it are different from how I feel about it. I still feel bad when I make a mistake, though I’m trying to get over that.

]]> By: Time for change « infp Blog http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-869 Time for change « infp Blog Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:27:39 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-869 [...] just been busy.” They mistake it for recharging and I let them. I’m not recharging, I’m rebuilding and some of them might end up with smaller roles in my life when I’m [...] [...] just been busy.” They mistake it for recharging and I let them. I’m not recharging, I’m rebuilding and some of them might end up with smaller roles in my life when I’m [...]

]]> By: Jeanine http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-649 Jeanine Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:35:52 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-649 It damn sure is draining! Sheesh, that explains why it wears me out so. I never understood that switching into extroversion thing you just described, but now I see why they can't even be around. Anywhere near. LOL! Jeanine It damn sure is draining!

Sheesh, that explains why it wears me out so. I never understood that switching into extroversion thing you just described, but now I see why they can’t even be around. Anywhere near. LOL!

Jeanine

]]> By: ockhamdesign http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-592 ockhamdesign Wed, 27 Jan 2010 04:18:55 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-592 I handle work a little differently since my day job isn't one of my Pillars (those are the areas in your life that hold up your identity - I haven't written about those yet). So since my Identity isn't closely tied to my Role as programmer, I find it easy to take on behaviors that help in that Role. So basically, I behave like an INTJ. I pre-plan. I figure out what the "real" problem I'm trying to solve is, not the stated problem. I schedule tasks. I can only do it in bursts though. I think it would be different if my job played a bigger role on how I defined myself. Take the New Personality Self-Portrait. If you're high on the Conscientious, it usually means work is a Pillar. I handle work a little differently since my day job isn’t one of my Pillars (those are the areas in your life that hold up your identity – I haven’t written about those yet).

So since my Identity isn’t closely tied to my Role as programmer, I find it easy to take on behaviors that help in that Role. So basically, I behave like an INTJ. I pre-plan. I figure out what the “real” problem I’m trying to solve is, not the stated problem. I schedule tasks. I can only do it in bursts though.

I think it would be different if my job played a bigger role on how I defined myself. Take the New Personality Self-Portrait. If you’re high on the Conscientious, it usually means work is a Pillar.

]]> By: Sue London http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-590 Sue London Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:27:49 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-590 My first reaction when you mentioned Extraverted Feeling (Fe) was to say to myself, "I never go into Fe mode, I use Extraverted Thinking (Te) mode" then I saw the part "but around people we have a relationship with..." and a light bulb went off. An interesting anecdote that may be related, I tried to follow the advice I gleaned from the books "First Break All the Rules" and "Five Dysfunctions of a Team" that essentially said connecting with people at work is important. For me it was a horrible, horrible idea - one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I need to keep "office" relationships in the Ne/Te realm - a safe distance away from my feelings. Oddly, people at work also perceived me as warmer/more fun BEFORE my emotions became engaged. Have you had any issues like this? My first reaction when you mentioned Extraverted Feeling (Fe) was to say to myself, “I never go into Fe mode, I use Extraverted Thinking (Te) mode” then I saw the part “but around people we have a relationship with…” and a light bulb went off.

An interesting anecdote that may be related, I tried to follow the advice I gleaned from the books “First Break All the Rules” and “Five Dysfunctions of a Team” that essentially said connecting with people at work is important. For me it was a horrible, horrible idea – one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made. I need to keep “office” relationships in the Ne/Te realm – a safe distance away from my feelings. Oddly, people at work also perceived me as warmer/more fun BEFORE my emotions became engaged. Have you had any issues like this?

]]> By: ockhamdesign http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-587 ockhamdesign Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:42:00 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-587 We don't have any active relationships in a busy place among strangers. With people we know, that relationship is there and as INFPs immediately go into Extraverted Feeling mode which is completely opposite from our natural state of Introverted Feeling. I'll have to explain Cognitive Functions later in a post, but INFPs natural state is Introverted Feeling (Valuing and considering importance, beliefs, and worth ) which is energizing, but around people we have a relationship with, we go into the opposite mode Extroverted Feeling (Connecting and considering others and the group) which is draining. We don’t have any active relationships in a busy place among strangers. With people we know, that relationship is there and as INFPs immediately go into Extraverted Feeling mode which is completely opposite from our natural state of Introverted Feeling.

I’ll have to explain Cognitive Functions later in a post, but INFPs natural state is Introverted Feeling (Valuing and considering importance, beliefs, and worth ) which is energizing, but around people we have a relationship with, we go into the opposite mode Extroverted Feeling (Connecting and considering others and the group) which is draining.

]]> By: Chris B http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-585 Chris B Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:21:29 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-585 "INFPs are being perfectly capable of being alone with people around, just not with people we know." Wow, now I know how to explain to my husband that the way I decompress best is to go sit in a bookstore cafe and read magazines. And why I hate sharing my cafe time WITH anyone. He has never understood how my "alone and quiet" time can happen in such a busy, noisy place and I never had a way to explain it before. “INFPs are being perfectly capable of being alone with people around, just not with people we know.”

Wow, now I know how to explain to my husband that the way I decompress best is to go sit in a bookstore cafe and read magazines. And why I hate sharing my cafe time WITH anyone. He has never understood how my “alone and quiet” time can happen in such a busy, noisy place and I never had a way to explain it before.

]]> By: Reem http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-364 Reem Fri, 25 Dec 2009 12:47:17 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-364 Hi! Corin, Interesting thoughts... as always ;) I could relate to the "symptoms" ... I would personally add to the list general aloofness, boredom and slight anxiety... Reading your blog has inspired me to start my own blog, I realized in the last comment I wrote here (which was too long) that I should give this a try... I still can't get myself to get started with "writing" but I'll get to it eventually... http://zkairos.wordpress.com/ Hi! Corin,

Interesting thoughts… as always ;)

I could relate to the “symptoms” … I would personally add to the list general aloofness, boredom and slight anxiety…

Reading your blog has inspired me to start my own blog, I realized in the last comment I wrote here (which was too long) that I should give this a try… I still can’t get myself to get started with “writing” but I’ll get to it eventually…

http://zkairos.wordpress.com/

]]> By: ockhamdesign http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-354 ockhamdesign Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:43:40 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-354 I understand what you mean by "move freely". It's during my reset times that I get leftover stuff done. But this happens at my own pace and in whichever order I feel like it. It's the process of just doing things as I want them done without outside pressures crowding into my head that helps me reset. I understand what you mean by “move freely”. It’s during my reset times that I get leftover stuff done. But this happens at my own pace and in whichever order I feel like it.

It’s the process of just doing things as I want them done without outside pressures crowding into my head that helps me reset.

]]> By: Amanda Linehan http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/give-your-infp-alone-time/comment-page-1/#comment-352 Amanda Linehan Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:33:22 +0000 http://www.infpblog.com/?p=153#comment-352 Hi Corin - I like the metaphor of the bookshelf you've used here. The image of "mental clutter" really speaks to me. Being alone to reset and recharge is something I need to do often. Also, during these times, I need to be able to "move" freely, that is, no schedules or clocks, just meandering along at my own pace to my own drummer. :) Hi Corin – I like the metaphor of the bookshelf you’ve used here. The image of “mental clutter” really speaks to me. Being alone to reset and recharge is something I need to do often. Also, during these times, I need to be able to “move” freely, that is, no schedules or clocks, just meandering along at my own pace to my own drummer. :)

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