Comments on: Happiness means burning bridges

By: Christian Life Coach Jennie Turton

Christian Life Coach Jennie Turton — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:13:09 +0000

As an INFP I have been so challenged and encouraged by this article! Thank you for speaking to a struggle that is so common among us INFPs. As a Christian Life Coach I have used this article countless times with clients of mine who are dealing with a pervasive feeling of discontent in their current situations. It has become a favorite resource of mine! Thank you so much for sharing your insights!

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:36:06 +0000

From your post: “INFPs rarely regret the choices we made that didn’t turn out well because it makes us into the people we are. ”

I must respectfully disagree, when said choice affects more than just the individual self. I know I’ve made many INFP-ish choices in my life that were at odds with the Guardians that surround me, and because those choices brought them such pain and confusion in the end, I do regret a number of them. There could have been another way to deal with things; or had I not been so naive and trusting (read: INFP) I would have perceived from the beginning a tangled mess of perspectives and concepts as possible end results. That is not to say that they were right and I was wrong, or I was right and they were wrong, but there is something to be said for sacrificing for the greater good. Selfishness is a separate entity from authenticity, which fact I see a lot of INFPs have difficulty grasping. “Be true to yourself!” rings the cry. Healing others around us has to start somewhere, and if we’re constantly subjecting the NTs, SJs, or SPs to our very eclectic interpretations of reality without common ground, we can alienate and distance those people whom we are attempting to help before ever being able to do so. In other words, we can be true to ourselves without discarding the necessity of showing respect to others in our lives.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:26:23 +0000

The world is full of ESTJs (or ESTJ wanna-bes)!! Good luck with the move and congratulations on being courageous enough to admit your differences.

By: Sinan

Sinan — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 20:37:42 +0000

Corin, first of all, thank you very much for doing this. Your posts are a great help. I love the fact that you give INFPs a reality check without being an ESTJ. I’m 24 years old and have had a pretty stereotypically INFP experience up until now. But thankfully finished my business degree with much pressure from my parents. And, I’m right at the point of my life where I’m seriously considering making a big move (“burning bridges” by quitting to work at my very ESTJ dad’s trading business and moving to a different city to start a new life) It’s a painful process, but I totally agree that being the sole responsible for my own survival will make me much happier as I will have very few opportunities to choose from. I actually like that idea a lot…

You’re our INFP angel Corin! Thank you so much for your effort

By: Oliver

Oliver — Thu, 05 May 2011 16:39:05 +0000

Yesssss, another post that I can relate to, and: “We want to make the right choice, the perfect choice. We end up wasting a lot of time trying to gather up enough data for us to choose. This could be anything from which career to pursue to where to eat today.” applies to me very much so right now. I’m taking a year off after high school before going to university and I’m facing the problem of choosing which career path to take, as well as what kind of job I want to take in the time between now and going to university. I’ll read the ‘Making a Better Decision’ article and see if it helps me during this process, thanks so much!

By: Corin

Corin — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 02:48:48 +0000

If you get the chance, read my post in Making a Better Decision where I write about why it's so hard to make a decision. It's not about making a "realistic" decision. It's about how we tend to overestimate the perfection of results of any decision we make that causes us issues.

By: kanika

kanika — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:05:01 +0000

Hi…I got to know that I am an ‘INFP’ by accident. And it is synchronicity that has lead me to your blog. Like many others here I too can relate to each and every post here. Honestly, it gives me immense relief, that I am not a crazy person who has such thoughts. It’s a relief that there exists other people who think in the same way that I do and I am not alone in this world.

My current dilemma is to chose between a curator job in my hometown or to move to another city for a two year paid Teach for India fellowship. I have got this job offer after a long wait and I equally long for the fellowship as I want to move away from my family and want to learn to live on my own.

After reading this post, I guess I will take up the curating job at present which is sure thing while I have just completed first step of the fellowship process. I will try to do my best in the upcoming phone and in person interviews. If I get the fellowship will leave curating job and move on to the fellowship. And If I don’t get it, at least I will not regret that I lost an opportunity when it knocked on my doors. Does it sound realistic?

You sure have a way with words. Reading your posts is not only therapeutic but cathartic as well for me. Keep up the good work…

Regards,
Kanika.

By: lelia

lelia — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:10:44 +0000

thank you so so much, this will help me to not spend so much time being unhappy cause I’m not sure I made the right decition and forget the past….

By: Priya Florence Shah

Priya Florence Shah — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 21:24:26 +0000

Second-guessing – the bane of my life. One thing that I have learned, however, is because of my intuitive gifts, trusting my instincts is usually best for me. When I second-guess my instincts, I err. But I also believe that everything happens to teach us lessons we have chosen/need to learn. So I choose to focus on the fact that I can be happy no matter what.

By: Corin

Corin — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:23:07 +0000

You can only second guess if you have 3 things: the time, the option and the inclination. Unfortunately it’s in the INFP nature to second guess because we’re always looking for more information and we delay making decisions and commitments.

However, we can mitigate the inclination with the other two. We second guess if we have the option to second guess. When I make a decisions, I take enough action to get myself pass the point of “if-I-change-my-mind-I’m-pretty-screwed”. At that point, it’s better for me finish than to go back.

Also, second guessing requires time and focus. When I’ve made a decision, I go on to the next thing. There’s always a next thing to do. There’s always something just as important in my life to focus on besides the last decision so I don’t have time to second what I did before.