Comments on: Fulfilling our needs

By: Antigone

Antigone — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 05:18:51 +0000

I have just discovered this blog and relate so strongly as an INFP to the “possibilities” ! Having done a degree in writing and sociology I imagined myself as a great writer after my tutors were supportive. But every time I sat down to write I began obsessing about my dysfunctional family which included a personality disorder. I wanted to help them (as an INFP helper) but they didn’t want to be so I was frustrated . I wrote lots about them and a large memoir but the grief just kept getting in my way. So I have now turned back to art (and me) where I had some promise at school and because it is a practical exercise I am taken out of my head where I am too fond of residing ! The themes I am exploring on canvas are more positive experiences and well….with paint there are just so many um…possibilities !!!! My art career was thwarted early with critical family responses but now I am ready to launch for me and trust I have 10,000 hours motivation.

By: Maenad

Maenad — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 03:30:19 +0000

Thank you for writing this post. It has been a great help!

By: Corin

Corin — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:37:59 +0000

Play can be all categories because everything we really want to do has an element of fun to it. High adrenaline play like skydiving or rock climbing falls under Uncertainty. Team sports is play under Relationships. My weakness is computer RPGs which I have time to play for a couple of days every 6 months or so. That falls under Certainty. It’s like an old friend that makes me feel comfortable.

Your quality of play is like your quality of food. In college it’s mac and cheese and ramen noodles. It’s food, but the nutritional value isn’t very high. I don’t play video games that much because I choose to go our with friends (Love/Relationships) or I go biking to improve health (Growth) or I travel (Uncertainty). I still love video games but like nutritional value, the quality of life value of video games is very high in my book. I still like mac and cheese but I prefer cooking balsamic tilapia.

By: ruby

ruby — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 06:22:36 +0000

hmm…this really kept me pondering for a while and i’m rather confused where to categorize when you play nonsense games to kill time or entertainment for that matter…is it under Uncertainty? and if it is…how so?…i know i’m a bit slow so pardon me…

By: Jennifer M.

Jennifer M. — Mon, 10 May 2010 02:01:56 +0000

Ahhh!! That makes sense. I think I need to link Love & Connection w/ Critical Significance too. No wonder a lot of my friendships fizzle out – I’m probably coming across as needy, even when I didn’t realize it. Instead, I should focus on growth. I will try that.

(Btw, I’m desertrose0601 on the infp forums and heard you mention your blog on there – it’s great what I’ve read so far!)

By: toothfairy94

toothfairy94 — Mon, 10 May 2010 00:58:35 +0000

I agree with your assessment of the Hierarchy of Needs. It was a little difficult for me to understand for two reasons. First is the one you mention, in that an individual can jump back and forth between lower and higher needs. The second reason is that “self-actualization” can mean different things to different people. I see the state of self-actualization as being akin to contentment, whereas some people see self-actualization as something only a few exceptional people attain, like a state of enlightenment. I have never read any of Tony Robbins’ work, but I like his definition of human needs better and I like how you described the positive vs. negative pairings. Nice food for thought.

By: ockhamdesign

ockhamdesign — Tue, 04 May 2010 08:20:43 +0000

Last month, I completely changed my eating habits. In the course of reworking that habit I started reading about food combinations and how some foods eaten together make it harder for the stomach to digest. That got me to thinking the needs that Robbins outlined and how in my life I’ve experienced combinations that don’t mix well.

For me, the biggest reason why Love & Connection and Critical Significance has never worked out is because of my expectation that this other person would continue making me feel significant. That expectation came in the form of neediness. This neediness was all unspoken, but 55% communication is body language and 38% is tonal. I was conveying my need without actually saying the words. That expectation caused my friends to feel pressure. That pressure eventually made them leave. Because who needs that kind of pressure in a friendship? They were trying to meet their own needs for Critical Significance and didn’t need the pressure of meeting mine.

By: ockhamdesign

ockhamdesign — Tue, 04 May 2010 08:00:57 +0000

I’m less enamored with Tony Robbins now than I was when I read Unlimited Power at 20. However, I can say without hesitation that reading his first two books changed the course of my life. Tony isn’t the best fit for INFPs. He’s very loud, gregarious and in your face when it comes to motivational coaching, but that’s what I needed when I was 20.

By: Ije

Ije — Tue, 04 May 2010 07:42:16 +0000

what a powerful post! so many things clicked for me as i was reading it. i especially liked the needs you outlined and which needs combinations are difficult.

i’ve been making the mistake of combining love & connection with critical significance and the way you laid it out made it crystal clear to me. really…a huge weight has been lifted off me! thank you!!!

definitely looking forward to reading more of your stuff:-)

By: Nick

Nick — Tue, 04 May 2010 04:00:55 +0000

To be honest i had never heard of Tony Robbins, but im glad i know now. Ive got to say, i really agree with his six basic needs. I almost want to say you couldn’t have wrote this at a better time than now, this really helps in putting perspective into things at this time and from now on. Thanks for writing this.