Comments on: Why things fall apart

By: Marky

Marky — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:06:11 +0000

OMG! I laughed so hard at this part, “INFPs always have The Project that is consuming them at any given moment.”

Is this true of just us or do other types experience this?

By: Zkairos

Zkairos — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 10:58:17 +0000

I can relate to this too… This reminds of this movie “Click” starring Adam Sandler…

By: J

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:05:36 +0000

Right, and even though there might be a really strong “soul” connection w/ another INFP, if both of them go into autopilot mode, and things fall apart, that usually (in my younger more naive days) forms a cycle which is hard to break w/ two INFP’s. My observation anyways….(maybe just w/ two very unaware INFP’s?)

By: ockhamdesign

ockhamdesign — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:48:51 +0000

I think that’s why my most important relationships are rarely formed with other INFPs. It’s kind of like looking into a mirror and seeing all the bad things about our behaviors.

By: J

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:40:49 +0000

Very true post. Couldn’t have said it any better myself. I’ve had this conversation w/ people numerous times…and I’ve been on both ends of it. We may think things are going “good” b/c there are no problems rearing their ugly heads, but in truth, it’s just going thru the motions and one day, it “suddenly” shifts. But being “aware” definitely helps!

By: Sue London

Sue London — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:09:26 +0000

You just described my life. Seriously. And this week I’m having I’m having to deal with one of those things that fell apart so it is even more poignant.

What I don’t see is any way to curb our enthusiasms. INFP attention is a difficult beast to tame.

By: ockhamdesign

ockhamdesign — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:11:14 +0000

Dan, I’m so happy your getting something out of this blog. In my head, I know it’s just not me that goes through these INFP behaviors, but sometimes, it does seem like it is just me. The blog helps me too.

Unfortunately, I haven’t found any books or sources specifically for INFPs. Many of the online descriptions for INFPs found at various online personality psychology sites are very ego flattering, but they’re also very general and I think could be applied to many other types. They also don’t talk about the negative things about being an INFP. You have to take the good with the bad.

I always recommend the book the New Personality Self-Portrait to INFPs. It compliments the Myers-Briggs very well and that’s the test I recommend to friends to help them figure out what will make them happy.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:50:34 +0000

Wow. I just have to say I can relate to this very well. And even have some recent experiences that put proof to it.

It’s funny, but I used to be very knowledgeable about myself. I knew how I would react to any given situation, and I knew how I should react. (And was able to do it. A key phrase I had always used was “I can only control my actions and reactions in a situation.”

But somewhere along the way, I forgot that. I forgot who I was, and I was letting my internal battle show up externally in my actions and reactions, pushing someone away with every single reaction. But wanting them to stay.

Anyway, the relevant part of this is that I had put my relationship on auto-pilot. And hadn’t realized it. Because I thought I was devoting time and energy to it. But I was really going through the motions, not growing with it. Not because I didn’t care, but for the reasons you listed above. This time, when I had to focus on it again, it was too late…. and in the midst of it all, I lost control of my reactions and let them get the better of me.

I sure wish I had been paying more attention. But, I have to say, as painful as it’s all been, I have grown over the last month. I’m not “me” yet. But I see where I fell, and I can now see where “me” is. The light is there, and it is only a matter of time until I get to it.

Thank you. Your blog is really becoming important to me, and helping me re-understand myself.

Do you have any books you would recommend about INFPS?