My experience is that people (not only INFP’s) are different – period. I’m still on a steep MBTI/INFP learning curve but I’m not yet convinced that INFP’s really are “so different” as they feel themselves to be. I suspect that the specific dynamics (preferences/attitudes) of the INFP type result in the introverted feeling of “being different”. But I haven’t worked this through yet.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s depression. I sincerely hope that he/she – with good support – finds a way through it. I’ve experienced periods of depression too, though – thankfully – not for many years.

To a large extent, I go along with your working theory. I think Jung considered depression to be a organic response that forced someone to stop, reflect and change things in their life that weren’t healthy or fulfilling.

But there are factors that determine the risks and effects of depression other than personality. For example: specific life events, the supporting network of family and friends.

Mike

The only working theory I have is that the ones who’ve suffer depression are the ones that have had zero interest in their personality psychology. They’ve always just went with it, chalking it up to the I’m-too-unique-to-quantify mentality. If an INFP has problems that they build their identity from, i.e. my problems are unique therefore I am unique, then we’ll never consider going outside of our own head for answers. We just end up suffering alone inside our head.

I think the ones who’ve found the balance between their upswings and downswings are the ones who’ve looked into what makes themselves tick.

If you find any new answers 10 years later, let me know. Start a blog. I’ll read it and add it to the other INFP blogs I read.

I too spent 10 years searching for the meaning of life in general and my life in particular. Failing to discover that one single, essential, timeless and universal truth, I decided to switch my energies to the real world instead (though I still have all the books!). It was a good move at the time. I selectively integrated some of the “received wisdom” in my life and moved on.

In my search for a new job, I decided to invest the last couple of days clarifying my own work preferences and the personal profile that I want to present to potential employers. I was surprised to discover how much I enjoyed diving deeply (10 years later) into the subject of “personality” again and how energized and motivated I feel by what I’ve found.

It’s something I’m going to keep up!

Mike

Exactly!!

And that appreciation of the mainstream thing? Yeah, spent years and years learning that one.

Any other INFPs have a problem that I do? If I judge something then it guarantees that I will have to experience it myself. I write it off to “God’s sense of humor.” A good example was saying “Why do people drive so far for a job?” when I was in my teens and my co-workers at the mall would come in from the surrounding counties. Within a decade of THAT nasty comment my commute to DC was clocking in at 2 1/2 hours one way on a good day. (Yes, I had my reasons.) There are many, many more examples from my life and I’ve learned to accept others (easy enough because we INFPs are all into that) on a whole different level, not just their selves (who they are) but their actions (what they do).

My rejuvenating activities, I keep to myself. For example, I go dancing every week. Since I go to the same places, at any given time, I know about 20 or so people when I go. I say hi and catch up briefly but I’m there to dance, not socialize. I have other activities where I socialize but my weekly dance night is not one of them.

The only one of these I haven’t experienced is the “spend a few years getting rejections from literary magazines” bit. Only in the past two years I really discovered that last one (I call it my new found appreciation for the mainstream) and I’ve never seen the concept written down before or spoken as though understood. I certainly appreciate your blogging…thanks.

Here’s my question (separate from the above comment):
Firstly, do you have that feeling inside of wanting to share your talents and passions with as many as are willing; knowing that you would be contributing to the community you appreciate shares so much with you. Only to realise that actually doing it is frustrating, because
a) the activity was so enjoyable because it was rejuvenating alone time, and
b) most if not all of my activities need to be rejuvenating otherwise I just don’t want to do it.

Do you or have you ever feel or felt this way. If so what do you do or have you done to reconcile these two needs?

I did that with a short story (fan fiction) for months! All I had to do was edit and post the epilogue and I waited months to do it. So glad to read that it’s an INFP thing.

With articles and blog posts I don’t have as big a problem with that, but fiction. Oy!

Have you been trying new things to challenge your old beliefs?

To answer your questions:

1.) Do you think, hypothetically speaking, that if certain factors allowed you to, that you would have still pursued a career as a writer?

I love writing. I still define myself as a writer not as a web developer. It’s pretty easy for me to separate who I am from what I do for money, even if I spend 10 hours a day doing it. I decided that the Reward I wanted wasn’t being published. The Reward I really wanted was to be published, famous and make a lot of money. Then I found out all the Rules for that Reward. The Rules are onerous.

I decided an easier Reward was to make enough money to travel and never have to worry about paying my mortgage. I still want the Reward of being published, just published in print by a known press. I’m just starting to get back to pursuing that Reward.

However, you absolutely, without a single doubt in my mind, should take shot at writing as a career. You will regret it later if you don’t. For an INFP, I think it’s healthier to fail miserably than to regret. Also, if you learn the Rules before you start, it improves your odds of not failing.

2.) There have been instances where I spent almost as much time going over and editing my blog posts to make sure they’re “acceptable” than I did doing the actual writing. I know you’re not a shrink, but in your opinion, do I have some sort OCD problem or is it just INFP perfectionism rearing its ugly head?

I think it’s INFPs not wanting to let go of something great because then it’s done.

You want to know a secret. Sometimes, I revise my blog after I post it. As long as I don’t change any major points, I’m fine with it. People treat blogs like print. It’s not. Blogs post are organic and should be allowed to continue growing.

After taking one of those online tests, I spent a lot of time (which for me is an hour or two) reading up on it. Your blog is unique in that it is one of the only places (that I found) where you can find insight on being an INFP that was written by an INFP. I think that is a big reason why your blog is so great to us INFPs.

Even though I saw that you mentioned your “expertise” on the subject in your tagline, I still figured I’d shoot you that tweet. I just assumed that maybe you had read some books or minored in Psych (guess I could have just asked what books you read to avoid the uncomfortable-ness that resulted from it), so I’m glad you wrote this particular post. Going to add the books that you mentioned to my “Books to Read One Day” list.

Anyway, I have a couple of questions (and hopefully you’re in an answering mood!):

1.) Do you think, hypothetically speaking, that if certain factors allowed you to, that you would have still pursued a career as a writer?

Just curious because after going through the motions for what seemed like an eternity, I just started the semi-serious writing “phase” of my life. I really enjoy writing and have been thinking about maybe trying to make a career out of it. Luckily (I tell myself), I’m single with no kids and still in my 20′s so I’m in a little different situation in that I can afford to be a struggling artist for the time being.

2.) There have been instances where I spent almost as much time going over and editing my blog posts to make sure they’re “acceptable” than I did doing the actual writing. I know you’re not a shrink, but in your opinion, do I have some sort OCD problem or is it just INFP perfectionism rearing its ugly head?

Thanks