“I don’t know any INFPs who work two jobs to pay to college part time that are still in the denial phase. INFPs start moving out of denial phase about 6 months after they started paying rent and stopped doing laundry at their parent’s house. ”

This totally make sense! This is what you’ve been through I see. I used to work this part time job that last for half a month. I was a promoter, and being a promoter requires me to approach and speak to the customers at times (which of course, is a daunting experience to most INFPs). It was after I graduated from high school of course, before I entered college.

Throughout my work I’ve been feeling disconnected a few times (to make it even worse, I’ve no idea why am I feeling that way), and I don’t even know what “introversion” is at that time. As I can recall it, I’m in no sense are “inside my own body” sometimes, rather “inside my head”, which is not good when you’re working part time job, surrounded by peoples.

Now, I’ve taken the MBTI test, scored as INFP and it goes as Fi Ne Ni Ti (Not the regular Fi Ne Si Te arrangement, and I assume different INFPs varies) and so forth, “Se” being the lowest of all. Now it’s described there the feeling of disconnectedness might be stemmed from my very poorly developed “Se”, which involves all the five senses in a concrete fashion. Otherwise, in the other article you wrote, the “Why We Feel Lonely Part 1 & Part 2″, I agree on that too, the intentional separation and all.

Now I feel a bit skeptical, but I decided to believe that for now (The poorly developed “Se” in relation with feeling of disconnectedness). On the side note, I do feel “disconnected” even as in now with my friends/acquaintance when I hang out with them at times. But at least not as often as I was back then in high school. I’d like to believe in time it would slowly fade away if I somehow keep on coming back, keep on trying.

The point is in other words, is it possible to say, as you free yourself from this denial state, you also indirectly developed your “Se” that is enough to “shook” you into reality? Obviously an ESTP (Ultimate Realist) would not face this kind of problem, but in case with INFP, perhaps they could cope better with the real world if they could develop more of their “Se”?

I’m sorry if I sound like rambling. It’s just that it’s been in my head and I feel like I need to let this one out. And I’m still going back and forth between this five stages.

But anyway I’d like to hear your opinion on this one.

A big, warm regards from a PersonalityCafe (PC) fellow INFP member!

Also – I follow the Bloom where you are Planted – philosophy. That has worked for me time and time again. Meditate on it too. Answers come in stillness and quiet sometimes. They have for me anyway.

It seems like I am in good company. I’m currently stuck between 4 and 5 and have been there for a while. While in college I dreamt of either making movies or going into medicine. Without any money to go to NYC or USC for film I studied premed. After being told my GPA was too low for Med school I ended up doing microbiology and teaching a lab for a year. In the meantime I worked on some short films. After college I moved to Japan to teach and came back for a girl. After studying hard I opened a photography business and moved to NYC and worked with a major celebrity photographer. Unfortunately my dad passed away this year and I had to sell all my equipment and come home (well that and I was going to starve in NYC) so now I’m feeling really stuck. I’m tired of being sort poor and am ready to be responsible and start a well paying and meaningful career, but I’m still at a loss. Its up to starving filmmaker (my passion) medical sales ( no starving.. in fact it can pay very well, but it scares me to become a cog in the wheel) or try for Med school and starve until I’m almost 40 then make truckloads of cash ( and help people) I really feel that self-actualization occurs when you master what you love, but starving to pay the bills in hopes of making a ” hit” movie or book a la j k Rowling seems to be more of a fantasy at this point. Any suggestions on a path to follow?

I did spend 20 years in blame and low-grade depression. I think that was the worst.

I am so glad to see it finally explained to me that it is all the natural nature of an INFP. How fabulouse is THAT discovery. Thanks for the article.